It feels cool to be having ‘normal’ days in a new country–it doesn’t feel like I’ve left the States, yet at the same time feels really far away and exotic. It’s just such a cool thing, to have a ‘normal’ day in my new life. It feels good to think about having a new life. I’m happy to be where I am, and to actually be enjoying figuring out each step. Getting settled is nowhere near as weird as I thought.

I don’t feel as constricted here, by the rules (for there are less of them, and those that exist are disregarded anyway), by authority figures (for they don’t consider themselves to possess that much authority), by society (for there are so many other people like me here and others bright and strange and different who let their personalities bugle to the world), and by myself (because I feel less trapped by it all and therefore am determined to turn off my mind and relentlessly follow my actions). It feels really good, I’m not going to lie. I feel free. The next step is only to fly.

It is such a great thing, to have a chance to start over and be who you are right now, not who you were or could be.

I am happy that I’m happy to be here, on a real life adventure. That’s what I came for, isn’t it? It feels like my independence day has finally come. I’ve needed to break free from the familiar places and people and pursue those things that make me tick, follow those strong, overpowering feelings that drive me crazy until I pay attention to them and give myself over utterly. I’m searching for something that I know not what, trying to satisfy the feelings of my body and soul and mind. We’ll see where this ever-color-changing, mysterious, and dangerous thread takes me–it sure will be an adventure, no matter what. I am happy to be alive.

That is what we seek, my generation, my extended family of adventurers and wanderers, these people that chase lives where they can use all their senses and truly experience the world and rejoice in the beauty of it all. We are a people never satisfied until we are living lives we are happy to wake up to every day. In a way, that’s what we came for. We are looking to be awake, to truly live. In a way, some of us are probably looking for each other. I hope we find it. This newly birthed morning seems to promise that we will, and I believe it.

Is this really happening? It is apparently, and this will become a metaphor for my New Zealand journey–nothing is as you expect, everything is spontaneous, often wonderful, and usually whimsically bizarre.

Why do I want to go to New Zealand? I’m not sure if I can even find the truest answer myself… I just have this innate connection. I guess I’m hoping to discover what to do with that wild, untamable spirit in me, that just doesn’t fit anywhere. I guess I’m looking for somewhere to fit.

Fire and wings. Wings and fire. Both things that I have and am growing and am learning to use. Hopefully this journey will help me know better how.